Slipping
by tailor31415
Summary: *Season 2 Spoilers* Derek remembers her hands, warm against his, as she asked kindly, 'Do you understand' and he remembers nodding to her, even though he really didn't. And he didn't think he ever would.


Disclaimer: Teen Wolf and its characters/plot are in no way mine.

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It was glittering and golden and breathtakingly beautiful and Derek had tipped his hands for Laura to see. Laura had met his eyes and they had laughed, voices mixing with the quiet burble of the creek behind them.

Their mother turned when she heard their giggles and she smiled warmly at Derek. He grinned up at her and tilted his hands so she could peer inside as well. "Look!" he encouraged.

She placed her hands around his as she leaned down towards him. "Derek, I'm going to tell you something. Listen." Glancing away from the sparkling water, Derek met her eyes and nodded. "See, little one," she began again, palms gently rubbing against his tightly-held hands, "Sometimes, you can hold something wonderful, but all it takes is one little slip…" On that word, she slid his hands against each other so a gap was formed at the bottom of his cupped hands. He looked down in surprise as the water flowed out of his grasp. He looked back up at his mother as she smiled wanly and finished, "And everything you hold dear can be lost. Do you understand?"

He nodded quickly, glancing back down at his empty hands. His mother's hand rested on his head for a moment as her nose brushed against his temple and ear and then Laura was grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the water to play again.

As they turned away, Derek realized this was the dream he often had. It was with a shudder that he let his eyes off his mother. When his eyes opened again, it was to Kate smiling cruelly at him.

Derek stared up at her in shock as she took several slow steps towards him. "What do you hold?" she asked, eyes flickering down towards his clasped hands. Looking down as well, he stared at the sparkling water. "Is it your…pack?" Kate whispered in his ear, suddenly close. Her hands slapped down over his and he glanced back up at her. "Is it everything you care about? Because you know, all it takes is…" her voice drifted off as his eyes flickered between his hands and her face. She was smiling at him again, though now he could see the cruelty in her eyes.

Her lips were pressing on his when he blinked again. Her nails dug into his hands, painful and tight. With a wrench, one he couldn't fight against in a dream, she pulled his hands apart. His fingers twitched and scrabbled as he attempted to hold on to what was slipping away. "One little slip," Kate continued, tone mocking and sharp. "Whoops, and everything you hold dear is lost."

He shivered at the sound of his mother's, his alpha's, words in Kate's voice. Her nails were sharp in his neck as Kate dragged his head up and forced her lips on him again, his feet sliding in the spilled water.

Derek was falling then, feet flying out from under him, and he opened his eyes when he landed standing with a jolt. He could feel Laura's palm gripping tightly to his shoulder as they stared down at Peter – the only one left – as they desperately tried to sniff out the Pack left in his scent. There was nothing there, nothing but antiseptics and ash, so much ash. He could feel the water sliding off his palms as he tried to scrub his hands on his jeans.

With another blink, they were standing in the cemetery, staring down at, he choked, at their alpha's grave. At their sister's. At their father's. He shuddered against Laura as his eyes continued to drift, landing on fresh grave after grave. Derek shoved his hands in his pockets, not wanting to risk looking at them. He and Laura remained there as long as they could manage, until the last remnants of Pack-scent disappeared in the fading-light of dusk.

A final shudder, a final blink, and they were laying on the charred remnants of their porch, where under the smell of ash and pain and misery and death, there was the faint remainder of home, of Pack. Laura was curled around him, nose pressed to the back of his neck and hands brushing over his sides as he shuddered and stared at his hands. He curled them until his claws were pressing into his flesh and the scent of fresh blood filled the air.

Derek woke up with a gasp, bolting upright on his tattered excuse of a mattress. He focused on forcing air down in his lungs instead of looking at his clenching hands. He could feel the cold trail of sweat dripping down his spine as he slowed his desperately beating heart.

When he was calmer, Derek glanced down at his hands, noting how they were attempting to form a cup again. He shuddered, feeling the sweat shake off him and a drop landed on his palm. Squeezing his eyes shut, he saw again the backs of his Betas as they left him, saw again the desperation in the eyes of the miserable teenager he was trying to save as he offered up his life, saw again the shivers running over Stiles who stilled carried the scent of Gerard in his fresh wounds, saw again Scott staring down at him and declaring, 'Not my Alpha,' saw again the mark on the Hale House that threatened what meager remains of a Pack he grasped.

Opening his eyes and staring at his hands, Derek let out a hoarse laugh.

He couldn't even tell when he had slipped up this time.

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Thanks for reading!


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